For five long years I’ve have been living a joyless fraught existence. Why? Because change for me doesn’t come easy(you know it don’t come easy).
Not liking my home of 5 years I continued to go back to where I once lived happily for almost 20 years, Miami Beach.
Every summer since I’ve left I rent an apartment there fleeing my current misery. But this time – unlike previous times, It all fell apart. First off I allowed a friend and realtor to pick this apt. out for me. Big mistake. The building and the location where alien to me. I felt adrift and alone in a sea of melancholy. I lashed out at my loved ones with a vengeance. It was all my husbands’ fault for putting me in this position, not liking my current home and feeling equally lost in my former home it was all his fault. Who else could I blame?
My website crashed and I saw that as an omen for me to pack it in. After all I used to be a lot of things but now I am just trying to regain all that I lost in 5 years chiefly myself worth, my pride my skills and talents. All gone just by changing my zip code. I have given up on my business and have decided to stop sharing as well. Because all that does is take away my power by giving countless other predators the ability to mine my life for Their profit.
So I’m closing a chapter of my life. And I don’t know when a new opportunity will present itself – maybe never- but at least I no longer feel the need to prove anything to ANYONE not even to myself.