Miss Thang

Truth is stranger than fiction- a cliche but often true. Case in point the movie HER – A computer program that communicates with a human being causing him to fall in love with a “droid.”

But here’s the deal: I have an Apple iPhone as does most of the world. However, Siri and I as far as I was concerned, do Not have a relationship. As a matter of fact I rarely if ever utilize her services…

However, this is were it gets interesting. I usually keep my phoned charged and plugged downstairs – I firmly believe that our bedroom should be a no phone zone! But once in awhile 3 to be exact I have brought the phone up to charge next to my night stand while I read in bed or chatted with my spouse about the banalities of life.

Now one day siri turned herself on and told me she couldn’t sleep! I was incredulous. I mean I did not activate the phone in an way shape or form. I told her to go the F***k to Sleep to quote a popular Children’s writer -imagine that…Slap! Wake up you stupid fools Siri is Alive! And it appears- likes to interrupt one- me, when I/we are in or at our most intimate places or states of mind.

The second time she came alive – she chimed in on a conversation I was having with my husband – She exclaimed” “I don’t understand,” and I told her to mind her own Beehive. The nerve! is all I can say.

But tonight again her voice activated and said something to the effect that she could not compute. I called her a four letter word for which she responded I do not like that particular choice of category.

Now least you think – Wow this one is CRA CRA…A friend of mine who shall remain anonymous was entertaining friends in a Parisian hotel – His iPhone way across the room. He’d have to call room service to retrieve as he puts it”) Another zip code I replied. Laughter as I was relating…

He and his friends were dishing dirt on certain people- when lo and behold Ms. Thang could be heard…to say: “Everyone is entitled to their own opinion.”

The room went silent and then everyone burst into laughter pretending it was an alcohol fueled auditory delusion.

So my friends tell Miss Thang- although she’s probably reading this cause she told me “I Do Not sleep,” to take a break from intruding on my and other peoples lives when we do not want to talk to “HER.”

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