Tattoo me tattoo you?

Yea its a Rolling Stone album cover but its also my mission from God. So for those of you who do not know my back story…I had plastic surgery on my knees about 3 years ago now. I wanted to have the bees knees. So I found a handsome surgeon with an odd name who happened to specialize in working with spanish soap opera stars. Unfortunately I was so his looks and charm that I didn’t bother to google his particulars: ie., he was a boob guy and Not a leg man. But despite that I entrusted this man to transform my pudgy knees to sleeker ones so that at last I could wear short shorts and skirts. He said of course he could do it even though I had been told by others to forgetaboutit. End of story I awoke to find two obvious scars above both my knees- Scars so egregious that other doctors questioned his credentials. I went in thinking I would be free of bad knees and came out worse than I could ever have imagined.

Three years later my scars are so bad that people still shudder when they see me. But due to a silly law – one cannot sue a plastic surgeon after 2 years of his butchery. I was soo devastated that it took me 2 years to recover from his damage. So when my husband and I were recently in Miami Beach my home of over 20 years, I demanded to go see Miami Ink, a Tattoo Parlor who had a reality show and our known for their expertise and no  nonsense advice. Located on Washington Ave. and 13th street discreetly under a tattoo sign, is this world renown outfit. There was a line so to speak but I went to the head and asked for a consult. They told me Jason was out but he would be back in. I sat on the sofa and when the door opened I spoke up quickly and said: Are you Jason? He said yes I said I need an emergency consult. He complied. We went to a back room where I pulled up my pant legs to reveal my egregious scars. Can you tattoo the color of my skin over these scars I asked? You know like when a woman has to have her nipples aureola tattooed on her after breast surgery? He said yes but I’m sorry I can’t do anything for you! WHAT, seriously why I demanded. he told me he could take my money but the nature of my rippled scar did Not lend itself to artistic tattoos he the expert could provide. But why?? I demanded? Because the long and short of it is it would have to be very large and not discreet and he said it would not heal well or look good!

I’m screwed I cried – I was counting on little bee’s over both of my knees- Irony or knees courtesy of Dr. O of brickell Miami. Still a no go.

My husband waiting outside saw my face as I emerged he said No Way. This scar, this permanent ugly Tattoo cannot be remedied even by the pros of Ink. So Irked by my scar – I have two choices: to conceal or reveal, like it or not Dr. O has won I am mared and scarred for life. They say bad ink is better than no ink. I beg to differ.


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